


Undercover Lover

by RidetheLightsaber



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Feels, First Order Poe Dameron, M/M, Tragic Romance, lots of feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-31
Packaged: 2018-11-06 06:37:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11030670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RidetheLightsaber/pseuds/RidetheLightsaber
Summary: Poe Dameron goes undercover into the First Order ....to bring Ben Solo home.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [captainhookcaptainfreedom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainhookcaptainfreedom/gifts).



  


The TIE-fighter helmet fastened firmly to his head was too large. It did not quite fit, clearly made for someone taller. Or maybe this was just how these First Order helmets were meant to fit and that would explain why they all had such poor aim. Poe flashed a smile at the thought, BB-8 would have loved that joke if he were here. 

Poe hid his discomfort, resolutely ignoring the sweat that dripped from his throat into the collar of his stolen uniform. The shining black TIE-fighter armor emblazoned with the symbol of the First Order. He could not let anyone notice he was out of place. If he was discovered as a spy, his death at the hands of the First Order would most certainly be swift. As long as he kept his helmet firmly upon his head, no one aboard the _Finalizer_ would recognize him as none other than Poe Dameron, best pilot and golden boy of the Resistance fleet. A man with a 500,000 galactic credit bounty placed on his head by the First Order themselves. A man so important, that only he could do the task at hand. 

It had all been General Leia’s idea. Find Ben and bring him home. 

It was a desperate maneuver, but the war was going badly and something needed to be done. The Resistance was losing more forces than they were extinguishing. It seemed as though the First Order was ahead of their every move. The time had come to try something drastic, under-handed and sneaky; send a resistance spy into the heart of the First Order and covertly persuade and/or kidnap one of their highest ranking members... Kylo Ren. 

“You’re the only one he’ll listen to, Poe. You’re the only one who can convince him to come back.” The General had said to him once they were alone in her office on D'Qar. 

Not many people knew the intimate details of Ben Solo’s young adulthood —when he and Poe Dameron had been very close. They had met as boys, only two years apart in age, and over the decades their friendship had blossomed into a love neither Ben nor Poe had thought they would ever see the end of. They had been each other's first everything. First kiss, first touch—unexpectedly discovering in the middle of their friendship what physical desire felt like. It was only Leia who knew exactly what Ben and Poe had truly meant to each other before the massacre at Luke’s jedi school, before Snoke’s corruption, and Ben’s descent into the dark. 

“Every super weapon has a weakness, Poe.” She squeezed his hands in hers. “You’re the flaw in Snoke’s plans. If you can convince Ben to leave the First Order... We may have a chance to bring them down.” 

“And if I can’t?” Poe had breathed, caught by the dizzying feeling that he was about to hit the eject button mid-flight with no parachute. 

Leia dropped a pair of force-binders onto her desk. “Then you’ll use these, and bring him back by _force._ ” 

Now Poe was standing in the massive shining hangar bay of the First Order’s flagship, _Finalizer_. After faking transponder codes, he had been granted berthing into the hangar of the First Order vessel amongst the squadrons of other TIE-fighter pilots who were also dismounting their starfighters. It had been no easy task to capture a First Order TIE-fighter without being discovered, but Poe had outmaneuvered him and done it. Now the TIE-fighter pilot he had captured was imprisoned in a Resistance base and Poe was taking the TIE pilot’s place among the ranks. 

Thankfully there were over a hundred starships lined up in the hangar, no one noticed him slipping in amongst them, falling easily into step. Poe had the force binders General Leia had given him surreptitiously concealed in the black flight-provision bag on his belt. The plan was to find Ben before being discovered as a spy, persuade him to come home or force him to return against his will. 

All the pilots in the hangar bay were gathering together in uniform ranks, lined up in groups a the center of the enormous space. Poe quickly realized that he was the only one who was not lining up for inspection. Apprehension trickled down Poe’s spine at the thought of being discovered before he had even had the chance to see Ben. 

He wanted to see Ben.. desperately. He needed to see him. Eye to eye, bare faced. Just a look. Maybe a few words if the Ben Solo he knew was still alive behind the mask.

The Captain of the stormtroopers appeared at the end of the aligned men, cape signaling her rank to the room at large with a height that towered at least a head taller than any of the other troopers. The Captain wore a bright chrome helmet and armor, fitting of her feminine posture. It glinted blindingly in the bright artificial hangar bay lights as she stalked through the lines of pilots and troopers gathered for inspection. The Captain paused every few moments, firmly barking orders to specific troopers to improve their posture, sometimes stopping to sharply adjust the helmets of troopers that were not perfectly tilted up, wiping smudges off the chests of others. 

Poe didn’t dare look flustered as the Captain passed him by, standing as tall and proudly as he could under her passing glance. At the end of the aligned ranks, she halted and Poe felt a wash of relief that the inspection was now over. She turned toward them, calling about-face. He was wrong. 

“The General will be conducting this spot inspection.” The Captain announced and Poe’s pulse spiked with trepidation. If the General of the Finalizer was going to do the grooming personally, this might be the end of his infiltration into First Order territory. 

“Stand up straight," the Captain continued, "or every last one of you will be washing the _viewports_ on graveyard shift.” And Poe didn’t even have time to adjust before the sharp click of booted heels signaled the arrival of the General of the First Order. 

General Hux was even taller in real life than from the propaganda Poe had seen on the holonet. Though not unpleasant to look at, the man’s expression was severe, nostrils flared and lizard-like, his eyes fish-cold. Poe was forced to admit that the General was also more scary in real life, too. The man’s flashing green eyes flicked over the lines of troops and pilots as he inspected them, revering in his command over them as he went. 

Poe didn’t want to imagine what would happen to any unit that Hux found a flaw with. The pilot sent up a prayer to the Force that he hadn’t scuffed his boots inadvertently or failed to fully tighten one of the belt straps on his flight suit. 

_Settle down, Dameron._ he told himself. _Don’t let your breathing pattern change, stay calm._ Keeping a cool head was as important as any other skill to a pilot. You never know when you might need to go full throttle into a nose dive or make a crash landing. And he felt like he was crashing the closer Hux got to him. 

Poe kept his eyes trained forward through the visor of his TIE helmet, looking at the far wall, not even watching the red headed man as he made his inevitable approach. Poe couldn’t help but feel a sense that his luck was about to run out.

The General stopped directly in front of Poe, heels snapping to a halt. Poe didn’t budge a muscle, posture perfect and helmeted head tilted up. _Dont react. This guy smells fear._

“Aren’t you a little short to be a TIE fighter?” Hux’s menacing gaze bore into Poe’s visor then flicked down over the proportions of the pilot’s body to determine whether he deemed him acceptable. Sneering, the General’s gaze mapped the wide breadth of Poe’s shoulders and seemed to find that whatever he was looking at was good enough-- for now. Poe hoped that his non-regulation height would strike fear into the general and make him think their ranks were running thin, and that they had to resort to using pilots too short for duty. 

“I can fly anything... _sir _.” It had been said a few times in his career of Best Pilot in the Resistance that he sometimes didn’t know when to shut his mouth. But Poe couldn’t help it. It was in his nature. Plus, maybe this guy wouldn't call his bluff.__

____

____

The General’s scowl deepened, clearly not approving of the sass in the pilot’s reply. “Very well. See that your... delusions of grandeur don't get you sent to reconditioning.” And with that, the tall, waify thin General finally squeaked in heels and turned away, greatcoat flicking out behind him as he marched from the hangar bay with the chrome Captain following closely to his right. The assembled troopers broke from their squadrons and started marching their way in formation towards their next shift assignments. 

Poe followed a group of pilots who are working their way toward the lifts and when they turn right, he turns left and then finally, mercifully, he’s alone. He'd done it. He was aboard, and so far he'd made General Leia proud. 

He found access to a computer terminal, quickly looking up the exact lift location of the upper decks. He’d studied maps of every star destroyer that the Resistance had files for. Even though the Finalizer was a bigger, newer brand, he knew relatively how to get to each deck and which dead-ends to avoid. He'd also stayed up all night drinking jet juice and trying to memorize as many escape pod exit cooridors as he could. A quick search through the stardestroyer’s personel map shed no light on where Kylo Ren’s private quarters were located. The information was confidential. 

Poe scanned the terminal screen with desperation. Where would Kylo Ren go often enough that Poe might have a chance at finding him? The officer’s lounge? No. Ben had never been the type of guy to spend his time in a bar. The mess hall? That didn’t sound right either. The chrono on the terminal said it was very early in the cycle--only a few hours after the normal sleep rotation had ended, early in the morning. Where would Ben go if he had just woken up? Poe had a flashback to all of the mornings that he was woken up to the loud grunts of Ben Solo working out at dawn. 

Poe decided then to search the map for the Finalizer’s gyms. There were many. He knew he would never be able to search them all. He had to find the one that Kylo Ren might favor, and fast. He weighed his options, searching his feelings. 

He cleared his mind, thought of Ben in the afternoon sun, smiling with his eyes just at him. When he refocused his gaze, he was staring at the lower deck's weight room. It was the largest training facility with a combat sparring floor and he knew that is where Ben would be. He couldn’t stand around here without looking suspicious and it was just as good a plan as any, so Poe headed toward the belly of the Finalizer. 

If he could just catch Ben alone... Poe tried not to think too far ahead. First he had to not let himself be discovered. Poe took the first unoccupied lift he could find, hoping no one would join him on any of the floors along the way. The pressurized doors open again and Poe hurried out before anyone questioned his purpose for being there. 

Its all in the confidence. Poe walked down the shining black hallways with a swagger that was unquestionable and the troopers that passed him saluted as though they could sense his superior command. 

_So, this is what it would feel like to be a jockey for the First Order,_ Poe quipped to himself. 

The first room in the gym he entered contained only a squadron of helmeted troopers practicing march formations, and Poe left quickly before any of them might take notice of him poking around. His confidence faltered as he traveled deeper into the depths of the workout facility, toward the next series of rooms in the large gym. The farther he got from the main entrance, the less comfortable he got and the harder it would be to get out. 

Toward the back, he finally reached wide double automatic doors labeled combat sparring arena. He felt a buzzing like sensation, and he had blinding vision of the force tree that grew in the front yard of his childhood home, like a flair had gone off and was suddenly out. He had to blink away the bright image behind his eyes. 

Heart pounding, he realized miserably that he had no course of action now but to follow the feeling in his gut. Poe knew he had to be action first, questions, and most certainly his doubts, later. As he stood, waiting out the long, nerve wracking slow lift of the heavy, doors Poe felt the pull of something chaotic drawing closer. A feeling he hadn’t felt since.... 

Hands already on the clearance button, he whooshed inside between the vertical automatics of the final gym. He passed the racks and wall units lining the entry way, pieces of armor and various ballistics waiting for their training owners to return. Poe didn’t remove his helmet or armor, keeping his side blaster as well, just in case. 

The front of the room consisted of mostly weight racks filled with big heavy durasteel plates for lifting. Poe doubted he could lift even the first two plates. Thankfully the room was sparsely occupied save for a few very well-muscled troopers who were working out independently, too consumed in their exercise to notice him. Weights clanking and grunts grunting around him, Poe did his best to fit in as he moved past the few machines and workout units. Picking up this and that, stretching lightly as he went, Poe inched ever closer to the back of the gym where there would be space enough for the kind of practicing that Ben Solo would be doing. 

He worked his way toward the back of the gym until the area sectioned off by sparring mats came into view. Then Poe could hear it... _-Clack, clack, clack–_ A low, long scream, _clack, clack, clack_ — a heavy thud. A series of moves so familiar it brought Poe back so quickly he had momentary dysphoria, back to his younger days of watching Ben Solo training with a practice saber for hours. 

The feeling in Poe’s gut tugged him close enough to see the tall, sweaty, dark haired man on the sparring mats... Poe’s gulp was loud enough to echo through the already cacophonous room. 

It was Kylo Ren.

**


	2. Chapter 2

Kylo Ren stood in the middle of the sparring mats, turned away with practice saber in hand. His back lifted and fell with the heaved breath of exertion from his exercise. He wore no helmet and dark, sweat-drenched hair laid along the back of Ren's neck, so long it touched his shirtless shoulders. 

_Longer than it used to be..._ Poe noticed, _is he bigger, too...?_ Transfixed, Poe wished he could look upon the tall man with his own eyes and not through the visor of his TIE helmet. 

The awkward, gangly boy that had once been Ben Solo had transformed into a formidable warrior. 

Kylo wore only the lower half of his dark outfit; fitted black pants tucked into leather boots, and gloves, the rest of him all creamy pale skin on display-- impossibly built, as he went through the final motions of his saber routine. Poe barely stopped himself from clapping as Ren completed the spin flip and block combination with perfect elegance. _So, he finally learned that move_ ; a formation Ben had been practicing, and failing, for as long as Poe could remember watching Ben practice his saber forms. Poe’s heart soared with bittersweet pride, sad to have missed so much of that growth, but happy to have seen it now. 

To Poe’s terror, Kylo Ren abruptly froze in place, face turned suddenly to the side like he was listening to something. Did he hear Poe's thoughts? Could he sense that Poe was near? Poe felt a charge in the air, like the static of thunder clouds before a tropical storm on Yavin IV, when the range of Ren's force sensitivity washed over him. 

Kylo Ren reeled, his unmasked face whipping Poe’s way until his dark eyes were boring through Poe's TIE- fighter helmet, catching him with his gaze. Poe felt the urge to scatter somehow, and fast, but he couldn’t look away now, now that he’d found him. 

Before Poe could register his own reaction, Kylo dropped his practice saber and stormed directly into an adjacent room attached to the gym. Without thinking, Poe was following Kylo's path in an instant, marching quickly into the unknown room. Bravely stupid or stupidly brave. 

As the automatic doors closed behind him, Poe was blinded by the steam that filled the room and Poe wondered if it was wise to have followed Ren into whatever sauna or communal gym shower he found himself in.

The visor of his helmet was so fogged that Poe could hardly see a few feet in front of him, no idea where the other man could possibly have gone to in this unfamiliar space. He could hear no voices over the echos of running water and sonic steam, nor could he see the shadows of anyone through the obscuring vapor. 

He didn't have to search long. After only a few steps, a hand emerged from the suffocating mist and gripped the collar of Poe's flight suit, yanking him completely off of his feet and dragging him deeper into the steamy room. Before he could reach for the blaster at his hip, Poe’s wrist was caught and twisted roughly behind his back. “Hey!Wha--Wait!” He yelled, but his body was being manhandled by a strength so unyielding that it sent panic thundering through his veins. 

He was shoved into one of the private shower stalls separated by partitions and the wall was wet against Poe's back. He struggled uselessly against the grip on his throat, unable to see the man who was pinning him against the wall. Then the release mechanisms of Poe's helmet popped open without being touched and the TIE helmet was wrenched violently off of his head, clattering to the wet ground with a splash. Poe gasped the humid air into his lungs, a first breath without the helmet since he'd landed the stolen TIE-fighter in the Finalizer's hangar, but the only breath he could take in was the ever so familiar smell of Ben Solo so close, the one holding him against the wall. 

The pilot blinked his eyes as he adjusted to the darkness of the steamy shower cell, finally able to see the man in front of him. It was difficult to draw a full breath however, with Kylo's fingers still gripped firmly around his throat and Kylo's broad imposing build crowding him against the wet wall so closely they nearly touched. 

“Poe... _Dameron._ ” The name hissed out through Ren’s gritted teeth. His face was part furious, part incredulous, like he couldn’t believe Poe's stupidity—the sheer audacity of boarding an enemy's flagship. Ren choked in rage, “Do you have a _death_ wish?” 

No more masks and helmets lay between them now and they were face-to-face, suddenly unable to hide the years of aging. Poe’s eyes roamed over Kylo’s face, cataloguing the changes he found, the way his features had matured and become somehow more handsome. Poe was looking on with wonder and the taller man scowled at the love he saw there. 

“Ben...” He whispered, unsure if anyone else was close enough to hear. 

Poe's next words cut off by the loud slam of Kylo's free hand punching the shower wall next to Poe's head, somehow smashing a dent into the durasteel with the blow. 

“ _Don’t._ ” Ren's dark eyes blazed threateningly. 

_Okay, that name was out of the question._ Poe's adams apple bobbed into Kylo's palm, the force pulse of anger electrifying them both. The air was stifling, too hot, and Poe couldn’t help but smell the sweat on Kylo's body from his training. Kylo’s arm now leaned against the wall beside Poe's head and they were so close that strands of hair almost brushed Poe's cheek where it hung around Ren's face. _I found him._

Despite the years apart, there was something instantly familiar about being this close to Ben in an enclosed space. All the times they had spent folding themselves into supply closets and private compartments that were too small for their limbs, hidden away to keep their kisses private. 

They had been so desperate back then to have any stolen moment alone together, back when Poe had been able to soothe Ben Solo's inner turmoil with his touch alone. There was a familiar look of pain in Kylo's eyes now, mixed in with the anger and the confusion, and seeing the taller man's raw emotion made Poe's chest ache to help him. 

Poe found his voice then, whispering. “Please... Can we go somewhere and talk—” 

Ren’s grip suddenly tightened on Poe’s throat and Poe's feet scrambled for purchase as he was lifted up the wall until only his toes brushed the ground. Kylo seethed, shaking his head so hard the strands whipped Poe’s face. “Do you know what they will _do_ to you if you're discovered?” 

Poe tried to respond, hands grasping uselessly at Ren's steam slick biceps to release the pressure on his windpipe, but he could only cling to those muscled arms and shake his head.

Kylo continued. “They wont just kill you.” His voice rasped from the strain of not shouting the words into Poe's face. “They'll make you _wish_ you were dead.” 

Poe wanted to say that they wouldn't find him, that he wasn't afraid of what they'd do. But his reply was interrupted by a low, growing whine from the over head ship-wide intercom, followed by the shrill, clipped tone of General Hux through the speakers. 

_“Security breach in all sectors. We have reports of unauthorized crew on board.”_ Hux’s words were biting with contemptuous sarcasm. _“Good job everyone for keeping your eyes open. Any crew member found not at their work station is to be detained immediately and held for questioning. All personnel report for a ship-wide headcount – immediately! No exceptions!”_

Poe jerked his head back in surprise at the announcement. How had they found out about him so quickly? Did someone discover that his TIE-fighter was stolen? He had tried not to look suspicious during his initial arrival, but it had not been enough. If Poe was lucky, his identity still remained anonymous, though his cover was definitely blown. 

The grip on Poe’s throat was suddenly released and his boots hit the ground hard. He staggered to catch his balance when he was grabbed and hoisted close to Ren's wide, solid chest. Poe’s fears somehow stilled and increased all at once. 

“If you want to _live..._ ” Ren growled-- so close, so deep in his ear-- threat or no, Poe clung, tucking himself against Kylo if only for a moment. “ _You will_ follow me.” 

The TIE-fighter helmet was shoved roughly back into place on Poe’s head and the pilot was dragged out of the showers, out of the gym, and into a whirlwind of hallways. He tried to keep his feet as they rushed past the troopers all going the other direction —no one questioning Kylo Ren's large strides as he determinedly led Poe to the farthest room from the main hangar bay— his private quarters. 

The doors were surprisingly heavy as they closed behind them, snicking shut just at their heels, as if sealing Poe into the place. He was too afraid to take a centimeter step in closer to the middle of the room. He could hardly blink, taking it all in. Poe put his poker face on and smirked. “Nice digs. I always wondered where you First Order thugs took your naps.” His heart was in his throat as he was pushed from behind, suddenly standing on the red carpet surrounded by black linoleum, a meditation chair, and a few other doors. Kylo's room. He breathed deep, quietly. This room smelled... sterile, but with a hint of Ben that made the distant sirens seem muted.

Kylo stormed toward him like a raging wompa. Poe stumbled backwards until the armor of his flight suit smacked against the viewport window of Ren's quarters as he was pressed up against it. There was no where for Poe to go--pressed to the transparisteel, an ocean of stars at his back and a snarling Kylo Ren against his front.

“If it were anyone else but me, you'd already be on Hux's flaying rack.” Ren hissed down at him and Poe shivered against the larger man's body. The movement made Kylo's breath shake on an exhale and Poe's gaze dropped to the taller man's lips, which were curled back in a snarl. The temptation to re-learn the texture of Ben’s lips was overwhelming. “Why were you sent here? What intel are you trying to steal?”

“No,” Poe whispered, deep down knowing he could still win this battle. “I’m here for you…” He looked back up into Kylo's eyes, which were set intently on his. Before he could chicken out, Poe lifted himself closer to Kylo's mouth in offering, but Ren stopped Poe just before the smaller man could kiss him, making Poe stifle a longing groan.

”Why…” Kylo's voice was soft and low now, his grip on the smaller man hard and unyielding as he spoke. 

"Come home with me." Poe rubbed his nose down the line of Kylo's smoothly shaven face, angling his body closer. He felt more than heard the sad, surrendered, animalistic hum from Kylo's chest in response. 

”Your beloved Ben Solo..." Ren was trying not to react to Poe pressed against him, but his breathing held a tremor, "...is dead.” 

”Not to me.” Poe angled his own large nose past Ben's handsomely long one, guiding their lips together into a ferocious kiss. 

Poe emptied all of his thoughts and feelings into the kiss, projecting all the yearning and loneliness he'd suffered without him. The familiarity of their jaws mashing together started a spiraling fight between their tongues and teeth. A kiss so heavy it got away from them.A kiss they shouldn't be taking from one another. A kiss they couldn't stop. Both perhaps never wanting to let go again. Ren's touch turned angrier and Poe yipped as Ren let go. 

“I said. _Don't._ ” Kylo bit out the growl, turning his chin away from Poe and breathing raggedly. Poe could feel that the larger man's gloved hands were clenched so tight that the leather threatened to split around his knuckles where he was holding onto him. “And as it stands, I have to report for the inspection.” Kylo's nostrils flared, expression torn, ignoring the pull to the light. He couldn't look at Poe, couldn't meet his eyes. 

Tearing himself out of Poe's arms, Kylo paced back and forth, considering his limited options. Poe frowned, watching the man he loved chew the inside of his cheeks raw, searching for the right answer. Their bond pulsed. 

It was hard to tear his eyes away from Kylo. Now that he was with the taller man again, he never wanted to be apart. Their bond hadn't felt this alive since the desecration of the temple, since the fall of Ben. Poe had to school his excitement. If he could feel Ben again... was he winning? Could he carry out the General's mission? 

“Please, B--” Poe was stilled with the force, a clamp on his mouth so tight he could practically feel the powerful fingers sealed across his lips. He jerked his hands up to protest the silencing but his wrists were seized by the same force power, frozen and useless between them. Poe glared, trying to move the rest of his body and finding himself completely held in Ren's force grip.

“You have to stay here. In my room.” Kylo grunted. Then he finally looked at Poe again, his eyes were almost pleading, swirls of Ben seeping into the hazel depths. “This is a far better option for your captivity.” Poe tried not to think about the dark corridor of the reconditioning wing in _Finalizer's_ cell block, and sternly did not picture himself in any position down there if he were to be found out. 

“I have to go.” Kylo's expression hardened again. Poe squeaked as the force squeezed tighter in warning and then let him go abruptly. He looked up with soft, submissive, yet challenging eyes. An expression only Poe Dameron could master. There was definitely nowhere for him to go, no way for him to escape and no option of surrender and no chance sending a holo for help, even if he wanted to. 

Kylo cleared his throat deeply, ignoring the thoughts from Poe he could feel. “Don't. Leave.” Kylo said, pointing into the shorter man's face. Poe did not mention how much Kylo sounded like the paternal donor of Ben Solo. As if reading his thoughts, Kylo suddenly shook his hair, clearing those emotions and banishing the memories of Han Solo that radiated from Poe-- their shared memories. 

Now that he was unfrozen, Poe dropped into the low corner chair lining the far window, feigning nonchalance. "Why would I want to leave this?” He dryly looked back and forth between him and the nothing else in the room. “Domestic bliss.” 

Kylo had gathered the rest of his robes and was now completely dressed, securing his hood in place, and picking his helmet up. “No one else has authorization to enter this room. Be grateful, Pilot. Your poor choice has spared your life.” 

Now that Ben was gone, Poe could see now how much of Kylo's room was similar. And how much definitely wasn't. He couldn't help but explore a little, but there wasn't much to see. Kylo's data pad and holo terminal were both passcode protected and Poe was fearful of trying to break into them without setting off any alarms that would alert the security system during the lockdown. 

There was a conservator filled with First Order protein rations and vitamin supplement drinks. Through one of the doors was an empty closet, and another held the refresher, but Poe decided he didn't need to poke through Kylo Ren's First Order brand of bathing products and left the room alone. 

The final door led into the darkened bed chamber and Poe couldn't help himself. He slipped into the room and drew closer to Kylo's bed. The sheets were dark grey, or maybe black, and rumpled. Of course. Ben had never made his bed unless his mother forced him to, why would Kylo Ren's messy bed be any different. 

Poe tried not to picture the hot summer nights back home on his family's ranch on Yavin IV when Ben would spend loving hours wrapping him up in his body and bed, or how hanging out side-by-side in the sheets used to be their favorite pass-time together. 

Poe started to shed the hard outer armor of his flight suit, unfastening each strap and removing the plastoid plates one by one. He checked to make sure the force binders were still hidden in the cargo pocket of his flight belt before setting all the pieces of the TIE-fighter uniform on the ground next to the bed. 

Wearing only the black compression shorts and undershirt he had left on, Poe sunk onto the mattress and laid down. Thick eyelashes fluttering closed at the smell of Ben in those sheets. The sensory memory crashed through Poe, making him shudder. Memories of being with Ben flooded his every nerve and Poe rolled onto his stomach to inhale as deeply as he wanted. He thought of the way they used to take their time, go slow, as though the universe was waiting for them to finish before the rest of the galaxy could catch up or even matter. 

Poe bit his lip. Kylo Ren had just kissed him like he'd wanted to keep Poe tied to his bed for days.

Poe shifted, his breathing becoming more rapid at the thought, making laying across Ren's weirdly comfortable bed even weirder-- and better. It made him feel constricted suddenly, and a thread started to warm and thicken through their bond, as if Kylo knew exactly where Poe had decided to settle in his absence.

Having no idea how long he would be waiting for the other man's return, Poe rested his head against Ren's pillow and fell asleep.

**


	3. Chapter 3

Poe was awoken from his nap on Kylo Ren's bed by an alarming shiver that rolled down his spine, the hair on the back of his neck standing stiff. The sudden whoosh of pressurized doors signaled the man himself sweeping in, and the tingling sensation wracking Poe’s limbs increased as the Force user drew closer.

Poe moved to sit up from his reclining position but Kylo's gloved fingers lifted and a weight like a thousand hands pushed against Poe's chest, keeping him down on the bed. Poe’s heart hammered against the invisible touch. Kylo was still wearing his mask as he stared down at Poe silently until the pilot started to wonder if Ren had changed his mind after all. Had he decided to reveal Poe's hiding place and bring him to the torture rack? Maybe Ren had decided just to kill Poe himself and get it over with. Maybe it was all about to end. He had known this was all too good to be true.

Poe refused to let his expression show any of his nervousness and tried not to fidget. 

Finally, Kylo removed his helmet, dark eyes contemplating the sight of Poe on the bed, spread out and half-clothed, unfamiliar in this setting and recognizable at the same time. Ren's full lips twitched between a scowl and something else. Kylo looked at Poe like he blamed him, slightly teetering back and forth where he stood on his long legs like he was fighting to stand still. Like something inside of him was trying to break free or make a decision too big for his human form. “…Comfortable?” 

It didn't take long for Poe to read the situation. He had always been able to intuitively figure out what Ben Solo needed.... or wanted. 

Poe looked in an instant so inviting, his knees parting, eyes lidding. He could feel it, a surge of Ben so alive again it was like he'd never been gone. Poe reached out with his own feelings, inflaming the emotional mental bond between them with all of his thirst for the other man. It worked and he watched as Kylo's throat contracted around a swallow, eyes scorched black, cheeks and lips turning rosy pink like they always used to. 

Ben Solo won out, answering Poe's tempting siren call to the light, the taller man collapsed on the bed over the pilot, weighing perhaps three times heavier then the last they laid together all those years ago. Their mouths crashed together and Poe kissed him hard, like he was trying to turn back time.

A cosmos of distance closed in a moment, a seal of lips, so warm and soft and familiar. It felt painful and good all at once in equal measure. They moaned simultaneously—a warning that they weren't going to be able to stop this time, rolling closer together, hoisting their bodies tighter, mouths fighting to rediscover all that they had missed.

In that moment they rekindled what had been lost between them. Like coming home. Kylo Ren's heart beat stilled while Ben Solo's was hammering through them both, a galaxy of stars twirling behinds their heads while they drove the sheets up the mattress, completely lost and found in each other again.

_Now, I’m comfortable..._ Poe thought, closing his eyes, smothered in Ben Solo's embrace. 

**

Poe felt a deep satisfaction thrumming in his bones as he woke in Kylo’s bed again, this time wrapped in the man's arms. Somehow they’d both fallen asleep, soothed to the point of blissfully passing out after the exertion of the last few hours. 

Poe smiled fondly at the rumble of Ben's chest beneath his ear as the taller man snored lightly in his sleep. Ben had always had a bit of snoring habit no matter how much he used to protest that he did not. The sound brought back warm memories of sleeping in Ben’s too-small bunk on the _Millennium Falcon_ , both of them barely able to fit in the single bunk bed even as teenagers. Poe closed his eyes again and just listened, committing this proof of Ben’s vulnerable humanity to heart, in case he never got to hear it again.

 _...I can't let this be goodbye._ Poe’s chest clenched as he thought of leaving Ben’s side. Was this the last time they would ever be like this— just the two of them alone, floating through space, no war, no politics? He thought of his mission and his pulse sped up. There was no way he was going to give up on his mission now. He wouldn’t leave Ben here to be Snoke’s puppet any longer…

The force-binders were tucked into the provision bag on his flight suit belt, which was laying on the ground right next to the bed where Poe had left it. Kylo's strong arms were wrapped around him, making it difficult to move, but Poe wiggled his hand free of the blankets. Reaching over the side of the bed, Poe's fingers brushed the corner of the provision bag and flipped it open. The force-binders hidden inside were cold to the touch and Poe carefully lifted the cuffs, hoping the metal components wouldn’t make a sound as he pulled them closer…

The peace didn’t last and Kylo stirred from his sleep, arms tightening as his eyes blinked open in confusion to see who was in his arms. 

Ren’s eyes dilated as they focused on Poe’s naked body curled against his, expression quickly darkening when he saw the cuffs held in the pilot’s hand. The cuffs were immediately yanked from Poe’s grasp by the force, landing in Kylo’s clenched fist.

“Were you planning on doing something with these?” Kylo laughed bitterly. “You’re a bigger fool than your General if you think these would have worked in your favor.” With that, Kylo wrapped the force around the cuffs and squeezed them until the metal started to bend and the electronic components started to spark. The binders were rendered useless by Ren’s power and he dropped them over the side of the bed in a crumpled heap.

Poe watched in horror as his _Plan B_ was destroyed along with his chances of bringing Ben home by force. The reality of loosing Ben struck him like a blow to the cheek, but Poe Dameron never turned away from a fight.

“Come home with me.” Poe stretched his body along the other man's, his nakedness pressed everywhere all at once and Kylo’s breath came more quickly as tan fingers skirted up his chest. 

“No.” Ren's large hands closed around Poe’s wrists tightly and stopped their slow caress.

“We can be like this... again." Poe breathed against plush, kiss swollen lips, refusing to let the taller man’s cold heart keep them separated any longer. 

“ _No,_ Poe.” Kylo's expression had darkened, mouth twisted into a grimace. Ren was clearly holding back his emotions as they rose bitterly in his chest. “We can’t be… I will not go back with you.” 

Poe’s amorous, hopeful expression was replaced quickly by determination and he pulled against the hands holding his wrists, his brows furrowed. “Then we won’t go back.” Poe swallowed hard. The words caught in his throat. “We’ll go away together. Far from here, far from everyone.” 

Kylo’s anger was suddenly gone and he actually looked shocked. “You’d abandon the Resistance...?” He sounded as though Poe’s words were unbelievable, ridiculous. “What about your precious General? You would betray her trust in you by running away from the fight?” _With her son, no less?_

Poe looked lost for a moment, looking away as the reality of his own words crashed down on him. Would he do it? He bit his lip and looked back up at Ren. “I would. If that is the only way to get you back.” The words rang true to his heart as much as they made his head spin. 

Poe expected Kylo to reject his offer again, but he found himself being pressed down into the bed and kissed hard. His arms were now free and he threw them around Ren’s shoulders to return the passionate kiss. Even if Kylo Ren could never express what Poe’s offer had made him feel, Poe could taste it in the desperation of their kiss. Ben was still there, somewhere, deep inside. 

It was over too soon and Kylo finally pulled away, untangling himself from Poe’s naked form and leaving the bed all too abruptly in Poe’s opinion. The pilot moved to grab Kylo, but the taller man was putting space between them now.

“Get up. You’re leaving.” Ren was already pulling on his discarded pants, stopping to grab all of Poe’s stolen TIE uniform from the floor and tossing it into Poe’s lap. “Right now.” 

**

“The hangar is in lockdown, you’ll have to leave in one of these.”

They stood at the entrance hatch to the farthest escape pod and Poe didn’t know how Kylo had led him to this sector without being intercepted, but he knew Jedi were good at these kind of things. 

“Wont they see you on the surveillance system escorting me here?” There was no way Ben— no, Kylo, could be making some sort of sacrifice for his safety. That just couldn’t be. That was impossible. 

“No one will know that I had anything to do with it.” Kylo’s voice came through the vocoder of his mask, cold and unfeeling— resolute, posture stiff.

Poe swallowed, glancing at the escape pod again and then back up at Ren. “Will I really be able to take off in that thing?” 

Ren huffed, “It’s got a navicomputer and enough power for one hyperspace jump. So make it count. I won’t be saving you a second time.” 

Poe realized this was it, and he lurched still in his steps despite Kylo’s harsh words. Not thinking, he reached up and removed his TIE helmet with a desperate fury that sent his curls bouncing every which way. The lockdown alarms were blaring, white florescent lights occasionally flashing bright red in their state of emergency. Hux was apparently serious business when it came to intrusion onto his ship. 

“There is no time to waste, pilot.” Kylo growled, looming over Poe with intimidation in his stance, doing everything he could to push him away physically as well as emotionally. He pointed a gloved finger at the entrance hatch. “Get in that pod.” The vocoder sounded deeper, a grievous crackling sound that he did not recognize. 

Poe stared up at the other man expectantly, not budging, foolishly ignoring the urgency of his escape, one hand on Kylo’s firm shoulder, the other bracing himself from being pushed farther toward the hatch. Finally, Kylo sighed in frustration and removed his own helmet to satisfy Poe’s silent insistent request. If this was going to be goodbye, it was going to be face-to-face this time. 

Poe saw immediately why the other man had not wanted to remove his mask. Ren’s eyes were filled with suffering that he could not hide. Poe’s chest clenched with the throes of that misery.

Surging with emotions so strong he couldn’t contain them, he threw his arms around the taller man’s neck, pulling him down by the scruff like old times. “I will never stop loving you... No matter _who _you are.” He breathed, in a space that was all just them, the inches between their hearts that no one could interrupt.__

____

____

An arm like durasteel came around Poe’s back, lifting him up against Ren’s chest and nearly off his feet as Kylo kissed him. The kiss was hard, like a brand they were searing into each other that would last long after the stars had all burned out. Poe took every ounce of yearning from the other man’s lips and returned it all tenfold with his own hunger, craving to be together like this for one more moment…

The kiss broke before either were ready and Kylo’s gloved hands shoved Poe away from him --and right into the escape pod hatch. Before Poe could fight back or even catch his breath, Ren’s fist punched the automatic controls, slamming the door of the pod closed between them. 

Poe gasped, immediately pressing all of the buttons on his side of the pod door, but Kylo had already initiated the launch sequence, making the pod rumble as it prepared to eject. The pilot looked up to see Kylo through the transparent port hole looking back at him. Poe put his palm flat to the clear surface. Their bond thrummed with an ache that brought tears to Poe's eyes. 

_Until I see you again..._

Then the escape pod jettisoned deeply into the vaccum of space, and Poe Dameron was safe from the First Order... for now.

 

**

End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked reading this~~!!!


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